Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
