The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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