i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
