dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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