Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
