Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
