so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
