remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
