his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
