You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
