My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
