I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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