i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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