that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
