Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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