Sponge bath it is.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
