i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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