I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
