I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
