It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
