Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize