dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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