Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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