in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
