If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
