the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize