Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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