Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
