I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
