OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize