It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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