We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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