Don't you send me to vm
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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