giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
