You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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