apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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