I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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