They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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