May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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