Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
