eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
