Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
