Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I enjoy the company of your penis
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