You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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