I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
