im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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