i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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