no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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