Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
