I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
