I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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