I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
