how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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