16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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