Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
