I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
