After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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