You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
