That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
