I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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