Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
