Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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