What a fucking waste of an outfit
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
