mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The adults are the big ones right?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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