It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize