Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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