He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
