i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
