Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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