Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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