I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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