he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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