Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
