Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
