its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
