I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
