It's official drugs can't kill me
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
