Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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